I am pleased to announce that I am a surrogate partner in training. While I planned to take a brief pause on training to go more in depth on client work in somatic sex education (SSE), a training I have been waiting for was announced. The Surrogate Partner Therapy training with the Surrogate Partner Collective has been in the works for years now. It has expanded from the initial work of Masters and Johnson which mostly addressed erectile dysfunction in cisgender straight men. The field has shifted to be more relational, not just sexual “dysfunction” focused. The training I am a part of with the Surrogate Partner Collective is representative of these changes and has expanded to include more training in consent, nervous system regulation, trauma, working with gender and orientation diverse populations, and working to apply a social justice/anti-colonial /anti-white supremacist lens. I’m proud to be part of the inaugural training as my experience and feedback will help to shape future training. I am also in awe of the other students in my cohort and have already learned so much from them.

Why surrogate partner therapy as a field? I’ve come to the realize that I am drawn to work that exists on the edges - edges of what is socially acceptable, what is polite - but that is also integral to our existence as humans. The fields and trainings that have caught  my attention over the last several years: somatic sex education, death doula, abortion doula, surrogate partner therapy, all have a commonality. They are core to the human experience. We were all born, we will all die. Regardless of whether you are asexual or aromantic, experience sexual and/or romantic attraction but don’t have partnered experience, or have had many relationships, you have likely reckoned with aspects of sexuality and relationship in your life. But these aren’t always things people are comfortable exploring deeply. There is so much fear and shame attached to these concepts in the dominant western culture that I live in. However, these are the things I feel drawn to.

Surrogate partner therapy is a natural fit for me. It combines my love of human sexuality and education, personal growth and development, and desire to utilize these things to help myself and others grow. I long to help the world be a little better and helping others relate to themselves and others with a little more ease fits that description. This also pairs well with Somatic Sex Education (SSE) and will suit those with somewhat different needs. 

What is surrogate partner therapy you ask? I have a little explainer on my offering page. There are some other excellent resources which I am happy to provide at the end of the post. In short, surrogate partner therapy (SPT) is a therapeutic relational modality that allows the client to receive support from two professionals, a talk therapist or other clinician and a surrogate partner (SP) who collaborate on care. The SP provides a space for experiential learning in the realm of relationships and intimacy in service to the client’s goals.

As a queer, non-binary person who has done much intentional work around self-awareness and growth, my sexual orientation, and gender exploration. I am excited to work with other queer, trans, and gender nonconforming people. I am open to working with people who exist anywhere in the gender galaxy, regardless of sexual orientation. I am particularly excited to work with those who have come to realize, understand, acknowledge, or accept these parts of themselves a little later than some. Whether you are a late bloomer or a #lateinlifelesbian, I would love to work with you.

What will this part of my practice look like? During the apprenticeship portion of my training, I will take on two surrogate partner clients and will be receiving mentorship from two different surrogate partners (one for each client). I will be offering in-person sessions in Asheville, NC. For those living outside of Western North Carolina, I am offering virtual work with in-person intensives. For the intensive portion of our work,  there are two options. The first is for you to travel to Asheville where I will see you in my studio space. The second option is that I will travel to you and we will work together there. For the second option, you will be responsible for all of my travel costs.

I’m exciting to continue learning and as a result growing my practice. If you are interested in possibly working with me, check out my offering page for next steps.

Resources

Surrogate Partner Collective

What Is Surrogate Partner Therapy - International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA)

Insider.com article by Julia Naftulin shows how Surrogate Partner Therapy helped one man in addressing his barriers to intimacy caused by a history of sexual abuse.