Surrogate Partner Therapy

Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) is a therapeutic modality practiced in a three person team: a client, their therapist or other clinician, and the surrogate partner. The process begins with a meeting of the whole team. Throughout the course of SPT, the therapist and surrogate partner are collaborating and the client is meeting separately with their therapist and the surrogate partner.

The client and their therapist identify what challenges the client is facing in relationships and intimacy, focusing on the client’s goals.

The client and surrogate partner form a temporary relationship to facilitate learning new relationship and intimacy skills tied to their established goals. All exercises are in service of the client’s therapeutic goals.

SPT work between the surrogate partner and client comes to a conscious close when the team determines that the client has met their therapeutic goals. The timeline is unique and therefore variable. After closing with the surrogate partner, the client continues to work with their therapist to continue to integrate their work with the surrogate partner.

Surrogate Partner Therapy is for anyone who has barriers to emotional or physical intimacy. Broad category, I know! I feel particularly enthusiastic to work with those who are:

• exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity. (Late in life lesbians, queers, and trans folks I’m looking at you!)

• in religious recovery or desire to let go of shame around physical intimacy, pleasure, or sex instilled by the church.

• inexperienced in dating, relationships, or sex.

• exploring partnered sexual intimacy with a disability.

• experiencing shame or fear around engaging in kink, bdsm, or fetishes.

• feeling uncertain about what they desire in relationships and intimacy.

• experience genital pain such as vaginismus or dyspareunia.

I require that clients be currently unpartnered/single.

I work with people of all genders, races, sexual orientations, abilities, and body shapes and sizes.

A note: I am queer, non-binary and was AFAB (assigned female at birth). While I am open to working with straight cisgender men, I do not identify as a woman and this might feel challenging for you if you hold tightly to a straight identity. If this applies to you, take this into consideration when determining if I am a good surrogate partner fit for you. If you are uncertain, feel free to reach out to me.

I’m so excited to possibly work with you!

Are you already seeing a therapist? The first step is to talk to your therapist about whether surrogate partner therapy might be beneficial for you. If they are new to working with surrogate partners in a triadic model, they can certainly contact me

If you are not currently seeing a therapist, you’ll need to find one and begin working together. Here are some tips on how to do that written by Katherine Yeagel.

Once you have done the above and are ready to work together, contact me. I’ll reach out regarding next steps.

While I am undergoing training, my base rate is $200/hr. Standard sessions are 90 minutes.

I offer a limited number of sliding scale slots in my practice. These spots are available to those who are experiencing financial hardship or otherwise do not have access to wealth and hold at least one of the following identities/experiences:

• person of color

• queer

• trans

• gender nonconforming

• non-binary

• intersex

• and/or a person with a disability.